THE ART OF GIVING

In reviewing some photos this week I came across several taken at a past New Year celebration and began to wonder why we get so excited about creating new goals and resolutions at the beginning of each New Year.  We have so many opportunities throughout the year to celebrate “New”. . .  and to start over on some intentions we let slide from the previous New Year’s resolutions.

This is the beginning of a brand new week!  I know you have things you want to accomplish, both big and small.  Our lives all seem to full and so busy, don’t they?  So, really, what are you going to do with each day of this week?

My gift to you to begin this week is the following writing of Wilferd Peterson ~ I hope you enjoy it!

 

The Art of Giving . . .

We give of ourselves when we give gifts of TIME;

When we are minute builders of more abundant living for others. . .

We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the MIND;

Ideas, dreams, purposes, ideals, principles, plans, inventions, projects, poetry. . .

We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the SPIRIT:

 Prayer, vision, beauty, aspiration, peace, faith. . .

We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the HEART;

Love, kindness, joy, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, forgiveness.

I choose that this week is a good time to resolve to simply pay attention to every (yes, every) person who crosses my path.  I envision my next choice to be one that enhances their day by using Mr. Peterson’s words as a guide.

Will you join me?

ARE YOU FLUSH WITH CASH?

Every individual is the architect of his own fortune. 

                                                 ~ Appius Claudius

With all the conversations I’ve heard and participated in recently regarding concern over unemployment, lower wages, fear of losing jobs, and savings accounts that seem to have developed a slow leak in the process of simple daily living I’ve given much thought to all the financial classes I’ve taken over the years in an effort to provide some tried and true ideas to help you lessen your financial stress levels.

1. Live within your budget.

Don’t try to keep up with your neighbors, your friends, or your extended family. Hundreds of them can’t keep up with their own bills!   In fact, an average of 1,433,151 personal bankruptcies were filed in America annually in 2009, 2010, and 2011 compared with 775,344 filed in 2007.

2.  Save your silver.  I love this one!  My husband put all the silver coins from his pockets into a large jar each evening for one year … When we took it to the bank mid-December there was over $700 in that jar enabling us to have an extra special treat over the holiday season!  You have nothing to lose by trying this one.  Any month/day you start is a good day!

3. Pay more than the minimum.

If you pay no more than the required minimum payment on your credit card bills each month, you’ll be in debt forever and ever.  On a balance of $390 with no new charges made to the account, paying minimum payments of $20 per month it will take you two years to pay off that $390 and you will end up paying a total of $511!   Could you add at least another $20 to your payment to start paying down the debt?

4. Save your next raise or bonus.

Guess what?  You’ve been living without it until now so instead of increasing discretionary spending or changing your lifestyle, or going on a huge vacation, consider arranging for the money to be automatically deducted from your paycheck or bank account. Invest this money in a savings account, money market or stock fund.

5. Snip coupons.

By cutting and using coupons for items you normally buy you could be saving an average of .85 cents per item. And, if you use those coupons on items already on sale you will save considerable more!  Using at least 5 per week, you’ll save roughly $220 to $500 per year. Look for double coupon opportunities and you’ll save even more.

6. Dine out wisely and with purpose.

I love to eat out and would never suggest that you eliminate eating out at restaurants!  However reserving your restaurant meals for special occasions and watching for coupons to your favorite restaurants or for new dining adventures will minimize this expenditure and still provide the enjoyment.  When dining out with the kids look for “kids eat free” specials or other significant promotions. Take advantage of the early bird specials offered at some locations or Senior Citizens discounts if that applies to you. If you enjoy alcoholic beverages you could minimize that expense by ordering only one drink or by changing to non alcoholic beverages.  You could also put a predetermined “eating out” amount of cash into an envelope at the beginning of each month. When that envelope is empty … create a fun and different meal at home!

7. Avoid buying anything “pre” at the supermarket.

Pre-cut, pre-chopped, pre-sliced, pre-packaged and otherwise prepared foods generally cost more money. Consider the convenience versus the cost to determine the value for you.  And, yes, there will be times you’ll choose the “pre” option; being aware of the value choice you make each time, however, will save you money as you choose to make a different choice at least part of the time.

8. Save your paper money, too!

By putting just $3.00 in a jar everyday along with that pocket change we talked about above, you’ll easily have accumulated at least an extra $1,000 cash by the end of the year without really missing it.

9. Building the foundation from which to work.

When you’re feeling completely overwhelmed with how to obtain the prosperity you need to maintain your standard of living and care for yourself and your family, a sense of despair often sets in and you cannot imagine a solution.  Take a moment to relieve some of the tension by drawing three deep breaths; releasing them slowly and feeling yourself relax. Though the frenzied, hurried actions you may be inclined to take will certainly generate a lot of activity, they probably won’t create a means of adding cash to your checking account today!  The things we do in haste seldom create lasting value.  Being uptight and anxious will not make you any more effective.

Being calm and focused will help minimize your stress so take the time to relax right now, no matter how urgent your deadlines seem to be — experience the benefits of relieving a little of your stress today, this minute.

Multi-tasking generally adds a touch of chaos to the day since you can only give your full attention to one thing at a time. To pretend otherwise is a waste of effort.  It would be much wiser to use your energy to achieve rather than to fight the chaos!   Those deep breaths allow you to clear your mind and stop worrying. You then are free to start calmly working through what needs to be done. Relax. When you’re enjoying the process, feeling more in control, visualizing where your efforts will take you, you’ll get to where you want to go much faster.

“Money is a way of measuring wealth but it is not wealth in itself.”

                                                         ~ Alan Watts 1915-1973

What’s on Your Shopping List?

Do you enjoy shopping?

Some seem to enjoy it immensely; some see it as a competition, almost like a sport; some  think of it as a”necessary evil” and some express they downright hate it!

As I’ve been looking at my supplies and creating my shopping list this week, my mind took an unexpected turn!

I realized I must go shopping very soon for I am completely out of Patience and I think it would be good to buy a case or two.

And while I’m out maybe I could find some Tolerance — I’ve heard some folks are wearing it as a light wrap for the still cool evenings.

You know, I saw Kindness on a friend just last week!  When I get low on Patience and Tolerance my Kindness level seems to dip a bit.  It was so pleasing and lovely on her, however, that I simply must find some for myself – and it comes in such soft pretty colors!

Oh, on the same trip I can exchange that box of Self-Satisfaction I picked up last week for some Humility.  I’ve heard that it wears better and is much more pleasing to everyone.  That will be such fun!

And, let’s see, I think there is a repair place at the shopping center and I really do need to get my sense of Humor mended; it is starting to fray in a few places and it would be so nice to have it functioning properly for all the upcoming events of summer.

While I’m out I’ll watch for some inexpensive Goodness.  It is so becoming on my colleague at work and might look equally nice on me!

WOW! My inventory effort certainly shows that my stock of goods has become quite depleted and definitely needs replenishing.

Yes, indeed, I must go shopping —Today!

Bye Now~

Oh, I almost forgot … Why don’t you take inventory today to see what’s on your shopping list?  It’s a great day for shopping!

FIVE STEPS TO RECOVERY FROM A SETBACK

“The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.”

                                                                                                                                                               ~ Brian Tracy

 

Have you ever experienced a setback in your life?  Could be related to a job that just didn’t fit as well as you wanted,  a relationship that wasn’t working out as you had hoped, unrealized vacation plans.  There are countless situations that could come to mind in answer to that question.

I think we’ve all found that life offers up a number of setbacks and disappointments just as we’ve all seen that some people seem to flounder following such disappointments and others seem to fly higher!  It appears to me that the people who recover more quickly and are able to soar following that setback are the ones who persevere, who refuse to give up, and who try again perhaps in a different manner.  I’ve been there many times and imagine you’ve experienced that crushing feeling of defeat also.

In reading biographies or watching documentaries or sometimes just reading success stories in the newspaper or magazines, it becomes apparent that many successes have happened simply because someone decided to try again!

Just because the goal was not achieved on the first try, or even on the tenth attempt, does not mean you are a failure.

 The thing to remember is that failure is an event, not a person!

It may not feel good but it really doesn’t matter how many times these negative events occur.  What really does matter if how many times you get back up and try again – a little harder!

Here are five tips I would like to share to help you turn your next disappointment into a soaring success:

1. Stop running yourself down.  There are a lot of things that you do very well, a lot of things that are rightwith you.  You have the same capability today that you had before you suffered this disappointment.  Stand near a waste basket and brush all those thoughts of failure down from your head to your shoulders and all the way down your body and into the waste basket.  Replace those thoughts of failure with respect for the amazing things you do.
2. Get rid of the self-pity!  Give yourself 15 minutes to have a “pity party” letting all the negative feelings roll around your brain. Beat yourself up really good if you have to.  Ring!  Ring! There goes the timer.  Your 15 minutes is up and the” pity party” is over – for good!  Now think of all the blessings you have instead of what you have lost or how sad you feel for missing your goal.  List these personal assets on a piece of paper then turn the paper over and list your opportunities for growth.
3. Stop thinking about yourself.  Instead, what can you do to help someone else?  Get out the door or on the telephone and find someone who needs the kind of help you can give, and give it!  It is impossible to have a continuing flow of success and abundance if your thoughts are only about you!  Reach out and give of yourself ~ blessings will flow back to you in many surprising ways.
4. Create your goal.  Write it down as clearly as possible.  Envision it in living color.  Perhaps you’ve even changed the goal a bit as a result of something you learned by not reaching it the first time.  Put a timetable on your goal – your target date for completion.  Now you have something to work toward.
5. Stop wasting your mental energy by complaining and re-running the scene that seemed to fail; instead start thinking positively and with enthusiasm.  Picture yourself and how you will feel, how you will celebrate, when you have accomplished your goal.

   “Make the decision to get up and bounce back today.”

                                                                                                                                                                    ~ John Maxwell

Are You Liking Your Life Story So Far?

What are you thinking?  What have you been thinking?

 

Are you where you want to be, doing what you love, being the best you possible?

 

Life does bring us challenges, doesn’t it?   Do you have one this week?  Is it perhaps a feeling of frustration with your job, your family, your home, your neighbor, your boss, etc. etc. etc.?  Perhaps you are angry with someone or something?  Maybe you’re sad or disappointed?  Someone once said that frustration, anger, disappointment and similar emotions can and will journey through our thoughts … but we do not have to allow them to build a house and settle in!

 

Are you ready to uncover where these feelings originated?  Take a good look at the words you’ve been thinking, and perhaps voicing, over the past several days, weeks, months and maybe even years.  Those words, silent or verbalized, have much more power than most of us realize.  Those thoughts are like road signs or maps that outline where we are going!  Those thoughts are why we are experiencing either the uplifting or the challenging things of today because they paint the picture in our minds of our innermost expectations – in full color, with sound, sight and smell.  In other words those thoughts are like a movie playing in our mind with incredible detail as though we were actors in one of Hollywood’s blockbusters!  The only problem is this is our life – not a movie!

 

The good news is that if you are thrilled with your life – loving every minute … keep on doing what you’re doing!

 

If, however, you’d like to see some changes in little and big things that enter your day, become aware of your self-talk as well as the conversations you share with others.  The words used have enormous power because they truly do reflect in our minds with energy and that energy then reflects as an expectation on our part ~ you may have heard the phrase “What you think about, you bring about.”  Whatever we put energy and therefore belief into has no choice but to become reality.  And now it is on our big screen of life in living color and high definition clarity!

 

At any time on any day you have the freedom to say “Stop!”  You have the freedom to choose the words that are flowing through your mind and creating your everyday life.  You can make a conscious choice to accept that the past is finished, it is a reflection of previous thoughts and is now like a rerun of an old but still sometimes gripping movie, maybe even an old favorite.  But it is time to update your movie collection!  You can decide here and now to think of the things you want to establish in your life – the fun and frivolity, the perfect  job doing something you love that is fulfilling to you and brings you abundance, the energy and good health that give enthusiasm and vitality to your days and your relationships.

 

You, and only you, are in charge of how this movie is directed – now step out and win your own personal Academy Award!

What are you thinking now?

 

“Man is made by his belief.  As he believes, so he is.”

          ~ The Bhagavad Gita  

THINK ABOUT IT!

“Psychologists tell us that every one of us thinks an average of between 65,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day and 90 to 95% of those thoughts are repetitive. They’re the same thoughts we’ve always thought and they become the patterns of our thinking. Thought patterns create the experiences of our lives”

~Mary Manning Morrisey

I know that I have heard this before; however, when I saw the information again yesterday it brought with it new ideas as though I was seeing it for the first time.

70,000 thoughts a day would be 490,000 a week, or 25,480,000 in a year.

Over 25 million thoughts a year … and they’re mostly repetitive.   Yikes!

Just the “thought” of it is enough to give me a brain squeeze and make me tired.   It makes me feel like I must go in circles a lot!  Gosh, maybe I should get out more!  I am a voracious reader ~ maybe I need to read more!  I enjoy educating myself and am constantly learning new things!  How on earth can I be thinking the same things over and over and over?

So as I face this new day I once again commit to being aware, really aware, of what I am thinking.  I commit to a practice of gently encouraging and guiding myself to creating positive thoughts.

What that means to me is….

• Thinking about how and what I need to do to increase harmony, abundance, peace and happiness in my life. I accept that this is not a simple task when it can be so easy to give responsibility for my general well being to someone else … and then point out to myself how “they” could do it.

 

•  Positive Thoughts also mean that I invest more time in thinking about creative ideas and actions. This brings stimulation and diversity into my life. I make choices for what interests me and the Law of Cause and Effect brings me new thoughts of how to creatively express myself.

Now this seem much more rewarding than being bored and waiting for someone else to bring stimulation into my life as I sit back and think the same things over and over and over again.

Yes, today is an opportunity to channel my thoughts. Can you imagine what I could accomplish with a few (70,000!!!) well chosen thoughts today?

Better yet, can you imagine what YOU could accomplish with a few (70,000!!!) well chosen thought today?

I INVITE YOU TO JOIN MY NEW MISSION!

Pack Rat Wisdom

A former colleague called me last week and started the conversation like this:  “I’ve had this idea rolling around in my head and I just know you have some background that can help me bring clarity to my thoughts; what’s in your archives a little bit beyond the normal Law of Attraction information?”

Almost everyone who knows me well or has spent any time working with me has laughed about, and then sought counsel from, my stash of notes from classes I’ve taken or taught, books I’ve shared through study groups, presentations I have given, the notes I have from sessions with the people I lovingly call my roving and revolving Board of Directors.  You see, I have been a lifelong learner in several professions and since much of that time was prior to being able to have it all available on the computer I have “packed away” many volumes of spiral notebooks ( – and yes, they are categorized) containing what one friend named my “stash of Pack Rat Wisdom”.  It is my joy, in turn, to share it for the benefit of others.

So, back to Attraction …

First and foremost let’s bring out some thoughts on Attraction:  To be attractive means that good stuff comes to you.  Adding value through serving, relating well to others, to business, to family, to the world – those are some of the things that are attractive.  We strive to become attractive to opportunities and potential customers, to ourselves and to what our future holds.  It serves us well to make every effort not to seduce, control or manipulate.

Here are several ideas that will draw people, love, opportunities and abundance to you:

• Show that you care!   Reach out to create a special connection as you learn how to touch someone emotionally, yet professionally.  Want a lot for others – one of my favorite ways to express this is to say “My wish for you is __________!”  Be sure to help people know that you see them as who they are and who they can become and not as what they do.

• Be somebody!  Becoming a master at your craft or profession creates an energy field that attracts others.  Keep learning and keep innovating to grow and to keep things fresh.  Walk a strong personal path, resolving your problems and minimizing your concerns so that you create a well balanced personal life as an example.

• Encourage Action!  Be unconditionally constructive in your communication with others, saying only the best.  Speak in messages, packaging what you say so that others are motivated to respond easily and well.  Expect big things of yourself and others so that people can grow and respond.

• Deliver!  Under promise always!  It is wise to even under promise on what you know you can deliver.  And then deliver at least 20% more.  Strive to stay ahead of the expectations of others so you have the opportunity to answer questions before they have been asked.  Create an arena that draws people to both be challenged and to exceed expectations in a safe environment.

• Form a Community!   Having a large network of resources allows you to provide assistance to those whom you wish to help. Being a part of that community of resources also provides a platform from which you can help so many others grow into their best possibilities!   In addition your family and friends help you maintain a strength that is both appealing and an asset to share in helping others become stronger when they flounder.

 

• Be a Model!  Enjoy people!  Set high standards for yourself then stretch to meet them with joy in your heart.   Create personal boundaries that protect you from being consumed.  Honor those boundaries always.  Do not hesitate to say “no” to those things that will deplete your energy and draw you away from maintaining your own strong personal foundation for it is from that stability and personal commitment to yourself and others that the energy of attraction emanates. 

 

 

“INVEST IN SOMEONE TODAY TO EMPOWER HIM OR HER

 TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL.”

~ John Maxwell

“Eight Ways to Make a Difference”

Touch someone’s life for good today.

 

• Focus on the people you can help. Some people really don’t want your help and to engage in self care you must recognize that your time and energy are limited. Becoming obsessed with the things you can’t do to help someone who rejects your assistance takes time away from doing the things that will help you help someone else move forward.

• Learn from those who are helpful and kind.  Some people feel resentful and lack empathy for the challenges of others, adopting an attitude of “It’s all about Me.”  We learn from the role models who give to others and from those lessons are able to step forth to influence others in turn.

• Watch for the people who really want your help but are embarrassed about it. Some people feel they should be strong and able to take care of things themselves. These folks were typically raised to believe asking for or accepting help is a sign of weakness.  A gentle approach will often put them at ease, especially if you relate a personal story of a time you needed and accepted help, letting them know how grateful you were that someone offered to make your path easier.

• Always come from a point of kindness.  Yes, you may find someone’s story a bit far-fetched and have a difficult time believing it. It is only logical to check the facts if you have a reason to believe that someone is less than honest with you but keep in mind that the true stories of someone’s life can sound preposterous even though every word is true.  Consider carefully doing what you can to help someone who doesn’t need it rather than not helping someone who desperately needs help because you distrust the story they have given you.

• Honor that some people may simply answer “Don’t bother” to your offer for assistance but at the same time you don’t want to give up too soon. They may feel no one can help them solve their problem and don’t want to waste your time.   If you reinforce that you truly want to try to help, both of you may find that the person will gain much more than either of you thought possible.

• Be gracious and honored that other people keep asking you to do things for them. If others come to you for help, it’s a compliment that they believe you are a kind and helpful person. Even if you are unable to help them solve their current challenge immediately just being aware of their needs may allow you to think of a creative solution to present at a later time.

• Uplift the person you help!  Remember people needing help are often feeling very sensitive and you want to be careful not to embarrass them. Reinforce your belief in them by not saying or doing anything in the presence of them or others that would cause distress to the person you are trying to help.

• Guard your comments as you help someone.  If you say something like “I had no idea this would take so long so let’s finish it tomorrow.” Or “Wow, this is more difficult than I expected!” most likely the person you’re helping will feel badly even though  from your perspective these are just general comments uttered during the course of a task and not meant to be negative.

Reach out and help someone this week and always remember ~

“The highest wisdom is kindness”  ~The Talmud

I CAN”T STAND THAT ANYMORE!!!

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.  When people ask me what really changed my life eight years ago, tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself.  I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, all the things I would no longer tolerate, and all the things that I aspired to becoming.”   ~Anthony Robbins, American Advisor to world leaders

What are you tolerating?  What in your life right now creates resentment, causes stress and completely drains your energy, in other words, simply slows you down and keeps you from being and doing your best?  Do you realize that those things also have the potential of causing disease and damage to your body, mind and spirit?

A coaching class I took several years ago had us invest a lot of time exploring our tolerations with the whole idea being that as long as we had a list of things we were tolerating and thereby allowing to drain some of our greatest resources – our energy, enthusiasm and focus, we could take control!

So, let’s discuss a few things you may be tolerating and some steps you may take to free up yourself!

• Make a list of the things that you are just putting up with in your life!  Take a close look at all parts of your life at work, at home, and in your leisure time and be brutally honest with the things that don’t serve you.

•  If your calendar is absolutely full to running over you most likely do not have any room to add those things that would bring you joy and success.  I would venture a guess that there are some things there that you really don’t find value in.  What could you eliminate from your calendar today to free up some time for the good stuff?  Most of us have to eliminate some of those things from our life that no longer serve us in order to make room for the things that really excite us and will fulfill our lives!

•  It really is okay to put yourself first!  There is absolute magic in the word “No” – don’t be afraid to use it liberally and in a gracious manner.

•  Oops, I know I heard someone say “But I feel so guilty not helping when people ask.”  Again, it is critical to take care of yourself first and not allow guilt to load a burden onto your shoulders.  A very gracious way to decline the request for assistance is to simply indicate you are unavailable and then suggest someone or a service company who could step in.  And, yes, you will encounter people who keep pushing and trying to wear you down, perhaps even getting a bit angry that you have said no.  Remember that they own their reaction which truly has nothing to do with you personally.

•  If you keep a small notebook nearby you will be able to list any toleration you notice on a daily basis as you are creating your “No Tolerations Zone”.  Filter any task of the day against how important it is that you complete it right away … remember, your goal is to create valuable time for yourself and your family.

Becoming aware of the tolerations in your life gives you a tremendous sense of control over your life ~ take the steps today to more freedom!

My wish for you is that you never again feel the need to say

 I Can’t Stand That Anymore!!!

5 Top Reasons People Stay in a Job They Don’t Like

Are you unhappy in your job?  Is someone who works with you or near you always complaining about the company or their job?  Although it may sometimes feel like you don’t have options, each of us really does have a choice.  We can choose to continue to spend eight hours a day in a place where we are unhappy and unfulfilled or we can take action!

Here are 5 Top Reasons People Stay in a Job They Don’t Like:

1.  Believing that the situation will improve.  Have you explained your concerns to a manager in an attempt to determine if there is an opportunity for changes to be made?  Have you suggested ideas to improve policies, procedures, environment or any of the issues that contribute to your unhappiness?

1. No time.  The current job consumes all your time and energy.   You’re working such long hours that you have no quality personal time available.  Is this a temporary situation due to a large project or is it the norm and therefore unlikely to change?

1. Inertia.  It is much easier to continue doing what you’re doing than to take action and make a change.  Now we’re back to that concept of continuing to do what you’re currently doing but expecting different results ~ you do have a choice but YOU are the one who needs to take some action, not your spouse, not your best friend, not your coworker.  Would you agree that taking even a small step has the potential of energizing you into additional action and bringing you a sense of accomplishment?

1. Fear.  The job you have now feels “safe”.  Any new job you would accept is an unknown.  Have you researched prospective employers?  Have you contacted friends, family, colleagues, and online corporate rating sites such as www.glassdoor.com  to determine a prospective employer’s reputation?

1. Lack of confidence.  You question if you are capable of doing any job other than the one you have.  Are your skills are up to date?  Are jobs available in your chosen field?  Are there other fields in which you would like to work and have you researched them?

If you feel stuck and it feels challenging to move forward perhaps it is time to step back and explore your thinking patterns and behaviors.  Do they reflect the kind of life you want to live?  Are you enjoying your personal time?  Do you have quality time with friends and family?  Are you doing those special things that renew you, body and soul?  If you answered with a resounding YES, congratulations!  But if not, why not set intentions now on what action you will take to create an exciting and joyous life?

The purpose of life is not to be happy — but to matter, to be productive,

to be useful, to have it make some difference

that you have lived at all. ~ Leo Rosten